In my many years of helping families through divorce, I’ve seen it often.  Ex’s whose sole mission is to create conflict and delay.  Frivolous filings, refusing to meet deadlines, failing to observe court rules, taking unreasonable positions, and hiking expenses and stress.

There are almost always bright red flags during courtship that foreshadowed how divorcing would play out. So what are the signs of a high conflict divorce to look for before you say “I do”?

• Manipulation.  Through words and actions this person paints the narrative that they are on your side, and it’s you two against the world.  Often they are in a hurry to get married, love bomb, or try to isolate you from your loved ones.

• Secrets and lies. If someone is dishonest about little things, this can mean they will lie about big things. Early in the relationship, don’t ignore small lies.

• Crazy exes. Everyone this person has ever been with is evil or unfair.  They are the victim of horrible acts by their past partners and take no responsibility for the ending of old relationships.

• Controlling. They want to dictate what their partner does, who their friends are, how they dress, etc.  Once the marriage ends, these people will go to great lengths to maintain their control over their Ex.

• Abusive to family.  The best indicator of how an Ex will treat you when you’re at odds is how they treat their parents and family members.  Do they cuss them out or are they physically violent?  Are they mean? Do they show empathy for them when they are sick or down?  Watch carefully.

• Cheating. Cheaters feel entitled to not play by the rules, and will often continue to do so when the relationship ends.

Bottom line, ignoring warning signs during new relationships can later mean costly, stressful, and ugly divorces.

José Borrego

Attorney

(916) 446-4911

Workers Compensation, Injury, Family law

730 Alhambra boulevard 208 Sac Ca 95816

Joseborregolaw.com